Well, Here We Are. Forty.

If you had asked the younger version of me what life would look like at 40, I can promise you this wasn’t the picture she had in mind. Life has a funny way of taking the scenic route, whether we ask for it or not.

 

Today is my third birthday away from my family. No hugs from my mom. No teasing from my dad. No hearing my sister annoy me just enough to remind me she loves me. Just me, thousands of miles from home, trying not to get emotional in public.

 

But if I’m being fair, this birthday is about more than what I don’t have. It’s also about what I do have.

 

I have survived things that tried to break me.

 

I have carried responsibilities that felt too heavy.

 

I have worked through pain, exhaustion, uncertainty, loneliness, homesickness, and more doctor’s appointments than I ever wanted to count.

 

There were days I wanted to quit. Days I cried. Days I wondered if all the sacrifices were worth it.

 

And yet, somehow, I’m still here.

 

Still standing.

 

Still showing up.

 

Still finding reasons to laugh, even when life feels like it was designed by someone with a very strange sense of humor.

 

At 40, I don’t have everything figured out. I don’t have the husband, the kids, the dream career, or the perfect life I once imagined.

 

What I do have is resilience.

 

I have a heart that still loves deeply.

 

I have family worth missing.

 

I have friends worth remembering.

 

I have hope, even on the days it feels hidden.

 

And I have proof that I can survive hard seasons.

 

So today, after work, I’m taking myself to an aquarium because I’ve never been to one before. Then I’m treating myself to lunch at Cheesecake Factory because if you’re turning 40, calories become birthday decorations.

 

It may not be the birthday I would have chosen years ago, but it’s mine.

 

And despite the challenges, despite the aches and pains, despite the distance and the loneliness, I’m grateful to have made it this far.

 

Forty years old.

 

Still learning.

 

Still growing.

 

Still dreaming.

 

Still stubborn enough to believe that some of the best chapters haven’t been written yet.

 

Happy Birthday to me. 💜